Lies, the deadliest weapon.

Preparing for my geography paper tomorrow. I hope it be a easy one and I'd be able to do it. I've studied for it and I do not wish to see a grade lower than a C5 next year. Suck.

Have you guys ever had a feeling inside you and you dont know how to describe it? Its suffocating me and the bigger problem is, I don't know how I'm feeling. Please dont question me and make me piss you off, it's not going to work.

Okay, how about this. You get cheated, you forgive that person. But you just cant bring yourself to trust that person anymore? Its very hard to fight your own feelings and act as nothing happened. The best part it, you lose yourself for nothing and that person gets pissed. People around you question you and ask you to wake up when you yourself actually knows what to do and what's happening. Sigh. I guess nobody knows how I feel, or rather, nobody I know knows what I'm going through. :l I'd try my best to give my 100% trust. I'd back off if similar things happens in future. I wont want to throw myself into some big hole and end up being dead without anyone knowing.

Everyone's busy with schoolwork, O levels, their own career. Why am I stuck here thinking of such stuff instead of studying? Damn it. I need my psychiatrist, badly. Give me my sedatives.
Oh boy. I think I'm getting into depression. ):

A grown-up teenager by the day, a lonesome 'lil girl by the night.
When the sunsets, tears streamed down that miserable face.
I'd try to be a better person.

BYE.
NOT-SO-SUNSHINE

How I wished one of my godbrother'd be right here comforting me.

ONE SUBJECT'S DOWN!!!!!

Oh yes! English is over (((: Today's the first time I ever ended an exam so late :3 I just this would be the first and last time. I dont have to go to school tomorrow 'cos I dont take A maths. Gotta work hard on geography. What I have to do now is to rest more and tomorrow will be the battle against geogpraphy-content-cramming. Bahhhhh. Boring.

I did Q3 for my composition. You're to write about an occasion when you could not stop laughing at an inappropriate moment. I think I'd fail the paper ))): Just 'cos of the stupid content I wrote.
i wrote something about an old, saggy, weird principal who dropped her fake eye lashes whilst cleaning her tears after giving the opening speech to the whole of all Sec4s. And I was sitting at the front row laughing like crazy when everyone's weeping away when they realised that they're going to be separated after graduation. Oh dear, Im so scared that I might have to retake my english. ))):

We had to write a report for our situational writing. To organise an outing for class.
i proposed to go to SingaporeZoo and Night Safari. Oh boy. I hope those britains would be duped by my super fake composition. :3

Okay, time tot go cook some japanese ramen and go to bed.

BYE!
Loves,
Sunshine.

*my biggest wish now is not to be a little princess anymore. I wish and pray hard that you'd kick that habit away. That would not only make me happy, it would make you healthy.*

Most important time in my whole Secondary school life

Its the big day all Sec4's tomorrow. 20.10.08, Kenneth's birthday and Sci(chem) paper. At 2.30pm, Im going to concentrate on just doing my paper and nothing else. Im going through my textbook, notes, worksheets etc. now. My heart's racing with time. Oh no... ): I cannot flunk this exam like how I fared for the past exams.

Oh boy. I can feel butterflies in my stomach ))):

Alright, gotta go!
BYE,
loves,
Sunshine

It will be sunshine after rain

After rain there'd be sunshine.
After pain there'd be love.
After so many quarrels, i hope that we'd get better.
After so many cries, I know I'd only get stronger.
Let us be the sweetest couple and let every envy.
I hope we can.
I know we can.
I'd face the fear that plagued me.
The fear that gripped me.
I felt so vulnerable, so helpless.
When you actually touched the inner most fear.
You let it out and made me weak.
But you gave me your hand and pull me up,
from the deepest darkest whirlpool.
Therefore, I thank you.
For loving me,
for being the best that I could ever have.
I love you.
Like I always do.
And you will always be,
my best love.

And it rained in my heart...

Back from a long day in Malaysia. I miss Singapore. The air, the streets, the building. And as it is, uniquely Singapore! Im feel so fortunate to be able to be born and brought up in Singapore, a country clean and green with tall and nice buildings. You dont see floods around anywhere in the streets, you dont see heaps of trash stranded by the roads which is infested with roaches and rats.
Not saying that Malaysia is bad, its just that Singapore's better. [: And you can find food in Singapore 24/7, thats the best part. You know, when you're in JB, you cant find food in the streets at around 2-4pm.

We departed Sg at around 11am, went for Bak kut Teh. Talking about it, its totally different from Sg's. Our soup is clear/milky with a tinge of spicyness(pepper inside) while what I ate this morning was a dark brown soup that is super salty. They dont have pepper inside and I think they cooked it by adding dark soy sauce to the porkrib soup. Different from ours huh? Then we went to this shopping mall which resembles our SimLimTower but they dont sell anything related to computers. Mummy said that I could get a new pair of specs since mine is spoiled and yes, I got one. Collecting it next week. And it only cost us RM 210 which is like errrrr, SGD 88?
Way much cheaper than the one Im wearing now. (: After that was a walk and grocery shopping at JUSCO, something like our Viviocity. Its huge and I got so tired after walking ))):

Lunch was at a coffee shop named Restaurent SUNSHINE(: Yay, what a nice name. :3 They have this very nice Wanton noodle which baby (brother) cleaned it up within a few mins, and assorted toasted sandwiches(butter,kaya,jam,sardine,samba,peanutbutter) and lastly the JOHOR laksa which tasted just like our curry noodle. -_-

Did I mentioned that its pouring so heavily at around 2.30pm? The rain was so heavy that the road was flooded to about 3-5inches and you cant see anything clearly in the next 50-100m?
You can see cars splashing water at each other and you wont want to stop at a junction to make a U-turn or whatever 'cos you will get splashed by other cars IN YOU FACE, of course with the windows protecting you lurhs. The drainage system isnt very good 'cos you can see muddy water spurting out of drain holes and big LongKangs. Bahhhh. Think of Sg? (: Our gov attended to every aspect!!!

Finally, the rain got lighter and we hurried back to Sg. DAMN, there was a traffic jam ._.
I had no choice but to sleep in the car least I get carsick AGAIN! It sucked to have a car sick you know? You'd feel as if you're going to throw up but there's nothing to puke. ._. Suck...

Im back(:
I miss my honey.
:3
BYE PEOPLE [[[[[:

loves,
sunshine <3

Hello O levels

Bahhhhhh.

Science practical was a boo-boo for me. somehow, it was nothing like what I used to get from Ms.Kim its more of a foreign practical to me, at least.I think I should be able to do it correctly 'cos I adhere all the instructions and did a few extra times just to confirm my observations.Anyways, its over. Time to score for the theory part which I sucked in 'cos I've only mastered a tiny bit of chemistry and almost nothing about physics. Oh no, exams nearing and Im still unclear and lost. I seriously dont want to retain or go somewhere I dont want to! I've given up on biology, I dont need it anyway!

I felt that I've improved on my mathematics but like what Mrs.Foo told me, the improvement needs to be bigger. No use improving from a fail till very jialat to fail to in a moderate range. ._. Suck right? And whats worst is that I have to pass mathematics if not there'd be no instituition which will accept me. Bad choice not to listen to lessons and hand in homework for the past 3years. Sigh. Regrets.
No time to think of this anymore, study and do whatever I can!

I hope that the exams would be easier as our batch's studying the new syllabus. Not too hard on us please Cambrigde, I need to get outta GYSS!

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Have you people experienced this before? You finally mustered the courage to take the roller coaster ride and you happily, willingly pay for ride. But when are right infront of the coaster, the person-in-charge tells you that someone died whilst riding the coaster. How would you feel?
I'd be plagued by fear I think. This was how I felt that day when I found out something that I'd never ever expect, from my dearest one.Yes, a roller coaster ride. You go way UP high and fall DOWN right! For those with a strong heart, you'd say that its fun, its exciting. For a weak hearted person like me, I'd feel that my heart's being grabbed by a cold strong hand and it'd only grip your heart tighter and tighter each time you try to break free. For a moment, I thought that my heart stopped and died. It turned cold and lifeless. That was when I thought, It'd be over. But it wasnt and I think it wont be. For I know I've hurt you too, for I know how much we love each other. That was when my mind went swirling like crazy and nobody's there to give you a hand to bring you back to reality.
My heart raced, my mind went blank, my breath starts to get irregular. That was when I knew that my heart wasnt dead. Hoo-ray, yet again, I felt warm and loved.That was when I realised that I am not ready to give up. And yes, I did not give up. For the name of Love, I did not.

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Alright, everyone's gotta a partner. Fabfab had finally found his love of his life, Zirui, a bubbly girl that hangs around Amk. Blessings to both of 'em and hope they'd be great with each other's company! Xianglinkorkor has his girl, Rachel too. And his promise to me that he'd bring me out after my exams. [: hope he'd remember! And I've got my honey to love me and to brave through O'levels with me.

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To all, please take care of your health and everything. Specially to Fabian & Shulan, take care of your legs! You need 'em for basketball and most importantly to walk. So, be extremely careful okays? I may be mean to Shulan but aiya, he's my honey's best budd. I'd treat him like my own best friend! Same goes to fabian too. :3 Moreover, fabian doesnt laugh at me That often. haha. Oh well!

TIME TO REALLY HIT THE BOOKS AND OWN O'S!!!!
BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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For once, I wished that I can be treated like a little princess.
Just once during e prom night. Let it be a magical one.