Tell Me That I Dont Deserve All This Shit.

If everytime I get the same thing, is it that I'm supposed to tolerate it forever? :/ Can you once do what you promised? I don't know what to believe next time )':

Where were you when I needed you so much? Sleeping eh? Sigh, forget it, this isn't the first time isn't it? I felt like I could have been dead, do you know that? I guess not. :/

Thanks for making me feel so shitty.

I'm dying from tireness & stuff.

My mum just transferred the cable Tv to my home and now, I'm watching KBSworld now and they are broadcasting Boys Over Flower! Haha, I can watch it again! xD DAMN HAPPY, at least I can stop being upset for AWHILE. HELLO GU JUNPYO! ♥

WA, BUSY SEH!

Haha, I've been so malay these 2 days. I've been speaking a rojak language of Malay/English&Chinese. Haha, sometimes, I don't even know what I'm talking. HAHA! Let alone the little two terrors!!! xD Things had been slightly better yesterday, I "guess". Sigh. Why will things turn out this way]:

Bye world,I'm back to baby sitting.

♥s

Was That A Wise Decision?

I've been rather busy these two days and I'm seriously very tired. I could just floop onto bed at night and fall asleep immediately, that is how tired I am. Never in my life, I need to take care of two little terror. And its just so tiring! ): What's more, I have to wait at night for YOU to call, to text, wake up early in morning and do stuff. I've been struggling to even text you, SO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW THAT!!! NO YOU DON'T! The moment you pick up the damn fucking phone, you talked to me as if I owed you a million dollar or whatsoever!!! I tell you, don't fucking make me regret the decision of going back to you. When I said I'm not going to let you go, it is because I know you'd dote and love me. BUT YOU FUCKINGLY DONT! I am fucking upset, do you even know that? You give me fucked up attitude and expect me to take everything into me!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME FEEL MISERABLE WHEN I AM ALREADY DRAINED OUT OF ENERGY!

I am very very upset over these stuff this few days. Do you know the feeling of tearing in your dreams? Do you even care? I doubt so, you are you. I'm nobody to you huh? I AM JUST A FUCKING NOBODY RIGHT?! I get it now.

I can't describe how upset I am, even if I do, you won't give a damn right? I know. Because I'm nothing but trouble aye. Thank you so much for making me feel so regretful about thinking of creating a better life with you.

No matter how much I love you, I still can't tolerate this. What is this?

If loving you is so difficult, I'd rather I not. )':

WHAT A SURPRISE!!!

Indeed, I was too busy/tired to blog about this big big surprise I had yesterday. Hurhur. Okay, here it goes. My big surprise was that my aunty/uncle and 2 little cute ass cousins came back without us knowing and my bigger cousin(FarahDina) asked me : " Jiejie, you want buy tissue dak?" HAHA. Damn cute I tell you. And they're going to stay at my house for the next 1month or so. Hoho. Both of 'em are damn cute!!! HAH! Farah&Hanis. HA! Damn cute, really. I'd take plenty of photos and post them!!! YAY! I've got one with Hanis though!


Was playing NDS with her, she's damn good at it I tell you. She can score like 60-70+ in cooking mama and she only pokes the damn screen blindly. HAH! Though they're adorable but they're little devils!!! Farah woke me up at 8am + and from then, I've to entertain 'em, take care of 'em, feed 'em and piggyback 'em downstairs. Wah, I'm damn tired. Shit man! I'm like one nanny who aged from 17 to 47. )':

And...when I finally got sometime to chat on the phone for that few precious min, I got ps over some MJ games(: HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!

A few days ago...someone told me how important I am..blahblahblah... Guess what? Few days later, which is today, I got ps over some oh-so-important game. Maybe it is 'cos I got fed up over some friend request stuff. Okay, I'm fucked up. (:

Great!!! I broke one of my nail now. SHIT FUCK!!! :/

Sigh)':

Weah, cry in tireness...BYE!

To think I made an effort. Sigh

再见我的爱。

Here's the link I wanted to give you (ClickHere)

Wait Till One Day I...

Would leave without a trace and you'd probably never find me ever again. You're making this becoming real.

I'm serious.

'Cos I told myself that I'd not eat until you call.


Sigh, how I wish I can ask my mum/grandmum this question.

If you guys don't allow me go look for a job/go out to meet friends/go for band practices/whatever, why are you're complaining that I'm always rotting at home facing the damn laptop?

Funny Thoughs Kept Running Through My Mind

I don't know if I had made the right decision. I hope by doing this, you'd feel happier. I'm attempting to take a step back and do what will make you happy. This might be something very small to you but it did take me a very long time to think through and finally decide. Sorry to make things turn ugly. I do love you(: Muah.

I take back all my words of trying to make you happier. Despite me trying to do that, you insisted your old ways and making me fucked'up till the max. I had enough of this shit, call me paranoid, whatever. I had enough of you and your nice-y nice-y talk. But true enough, a leopard will NEVER change its spot.

P/S : I hope that person that stole Shulan belongings DIE while using anything of Shulan. If he uses the handphone, the HP explode, if he uses the cash, he's bloody hand will rot, if he uses the bag, he's back will get twisted 310degree left.

YAY ME!

Finally went out! And spent like $7 on transportation(Bus+Train) Walao! Now not being a Secondary school student anymore, I no longer have the privilege to use the student fare anymore. Am using adult fare since...I forget when. From the 45cent/trip to a 90cent - $1/trip. Walao. I top-up $10 use 2days finish ready what! Wtf?! Poly student not student meh? Poly student means very rich then can make us use adult fare la? Concession also damn expensive can? $40-50+++ for bus/train, both $90+ Sigh. Please la, poly student's fare to the normal student fare can not?! Sigh...

Right. Am dead beat right now T~T Woke up damn early, accompanied my grandmum to Hougang. Here's how I went to different places :

-Took 142 to Potong pasir(PP)
-From PP trian-ed to Hougang
-Walked from Hougang ave 10 to ave 8
-Walked back from ave8 to ave10
-Train-ed to Chinatown
-Took 143 to Toa Payoh
-Train-ed to Orchard
-Walked to Far East
-143 to Novena
-Trained back to ToaPayoh ._.

I've been going to and fro places today, waste of money! Ate Curry favour today again. And coincidentally, everytime I go there, I'd wear the same top. The people must have thought that I dont change my clothings )))): WEAH!




BYE!!! ♥
Muah!

SUNDAY LEH!!!

T~T
Sobsob, its Sunday yet I have to stay home and rot :/ Weah. Hope I can go out tomorrow*praypraypray* Dang...Maybe I'd text her when she's working then she might just reply " okay la, come back on time hor " YAY! Then I'd be free from my cage!!! I'm not a bird. >.<

AHAHAHAHHA!!!
I'm like so into Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flower/Meteor Garden/流星花园. HAHAH!

BYE♥

BAWRING!!!

Home-d today as usual. I think I'd get my ass of on monday, hopefully(: I need to go shopping again! >.< But...I got no moolah left. Sigh. Hope school starts soon and I'd get to save my pocket money then I'd get rich! Hoho. Dad said that he'd probably give me $50 extra himself. Maybe he'd transferred it to me without mum knowing xD Will my pocket money increase since I'm going to poly? I'm getting $10/day during secondary school. Wonder if i'd increase when school reopens. :3 Pray hard that mum wont decrease my allowance any further!!! ): There's this once, she reduced my allowance from $10/day to a miserable $5 leh!!! That's like a 50% cut you know???!!!! Okay, since dad is giving me $50extra/month, that would make up to $600/year! Plus, if there's still $400left at the end of 1 year, he'd probably give me $75 more. HOHO. That means, I can only spend 1/3 of the money he gives. Tsktsk. Okay, I've decided, if my allowance is $10/day, I'd save $3-$4 if possible. In that way, I'd probably save...$60-$80/month(: YAY! Wonder if I can resist the temptation of spending all my money away. Tsktsk. Maybe I'd leave my money in my account and dump the card with mummy. HAHA! Okay, thinking of it makes me feel rich already!!!

Right. But i'm still broke right now. )':

And baby's phone battery is flat, I can't text/call him. ): I miss him! Again, girls, fuck off from MY boyfriend. (:

BYE!
With ♥

DAMN HARDCORE!

CAUTION!!! This is damn hardcore.

I DON'T LIKE girls that talk to him like they didnt chat for a million years or something. I dont know la, it just make me damn jealous can! I DONT LIKE GIRLS TO TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND LA!!! As you can see, I'm damn extreme, because recently there's a sign that many will come and geigei(fake) talk to my boyfriend then give this crap, see ah.

StupidGirl(SG) : HELLO!!! Long time never see you ready, how are you?
BOYFRIEND(BF) : Ya lor! So long never see you. Fine, you?
SG : I'm good. Wa, so long never talk already, want exchange email/phone no. ?
BF : Erm. But I got gf already leh.
SG : Never mind la! She also dont know. (!@#$%^)
BF : Okay lor. Here's my number. I seldom use msn, I busy working.
SG : Hmm, Okay, I text you when I'm free ah. Where you working?
BF : Okay, Gogo @ AMK. Sometimes I never reply means I with my gf hor. Dont call me
SG : Huh, you girlfriend like that one ah. Sian. Okay lor. I'd do it discreetly.
BF : Okay, Wait for your sms.
SG : Yea, soon!

SEE?!?!?!?! THIS KIND OF THING GOT HAPPEN BEFORE LOR!!! !@#$%^& Hope my boyfriend's not like that, if not I confirm kill/kick/burn him one. >:/ Damn angry now. HAR NA!
I really dont like my boyfriend to talk to other girls la can? I fucking extreme one! HE'S MINE WHAT!!! I'd kill all the girls who talk to him from now. I mean it okay.

LISTEN UP WYC, YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND HOR! YOU'VE GOT ME AS YOU GIRLFRIEND/SWEETHEART/WHATEVER. SO YOU NO NEED THOSE SO CALLED " GIRL-DE-FRIEND " UNDERSTAND??????! IF NOT YOU'D KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. >:/

Call me siao or call me possessive, I DONT FUCKING GIVE A DAMN! I just want my boyfriend to myself. Because he is MY boyfriend.

So girls, I BEG YOU ALL, DONT TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND.

Byebye.

I LOVE WYC, THEREFORE, I CANNOT TOLERATE OTHER GIRLS TALKING TO HIM(:
Thank you.

P/S : Someone used my lappy without asking. And the friendster's acc was still there. Oh well.

Jealousy?

Yes, jealousy. And again, maybe I really shouldn't care so much. So what if I discover that I still dont understand you? So what if the same name always appear in some places and when I ask, I get the same reply? So what if I'm jealous? I just dont like that name, that person. Don't understand why must that particular name must always be there. I really don't. I tried to ignore it but I can't.

Really broken.

P/s : I don't enjoy getting irritated because of you

Science geek

Yay science center(: Went there early in the morning after sending mum to the train station at around 9am. Reached science center at around 10plus, we told that there would be a smaller crowd in the morning or something else. But there were so many people! Never mind, we still went in anyways. Haha.

Went to the Magic exhibition and other halls then to the magic show. [: Bluff small kids one, HAHA.
._. XavierChong wanted to eat Macdonald but baby and I are sick of eating Macdonald! So, we went to Nebo instead. *Grins*

This time, Baby and I am clever enough to just order 2sets. [: XavierChong ate his spaghetti and I had fish fillet/cheesefries& a bowl of soup with baby. (: Gotta eat the gladiator sandwich next time. [:

Hungry after thinking about the food. :/

BYE!
♥

DAY IN ):

YAY! I'm going to Singapore Science Center tomorrow!!! YIPPEEE! :3 I've been wanting to see the Magic Exhibit ever since I knew about it. AND YAY! I'M GOING TOMORROW!

[: Thanks to XavierChong. ♥

BYE!

I hate being woken up

Its bad enough for me to be sleeping in the damn living room. Now I even get woken up at 7.30AM?!?! Wtf. Is was planned that my brother is going with mum for her Oscar Scan/check up and she's cool with me not going. BUT...early in the morning, grandma was mumbling/grumbling/nagging/fucking my sleep/whining that why am I not going with them. From all that fucked up nagging from her, I'm sure I could just break 10bricks with my barehands. lol. I cannot tahan her naggings and preaching and stuff. Wtf.

So, little baby has grown bigger! Hooray(: The last time I saw his/her ultrasound scanned photo, he/she is just like a small ball of I-dont-know what. HAHA. Now I see him/her, he/she had grown bigger and LONGER!!! Woohoo. [:

My mum was complaining about my bills again. Weah >.< I told her I want to renew my student plan and she's grumbling that she got no money to pay the bills. Then how? I hadnt been taking money from her since my birthday! ): Little baby, you're so expensive.

Right. Hoping to go to Science center on Wednesday if XavierChong wants to go with me. :/ Was hoping to see the Magic Exhibition. :3

Okay, so much for now.
BYE!

P/s : Does people get damn fucking grumpy/naggy as they age? Someone, bring me out of my prison-like house. I can't stand this anymore.

Sweet temptations

I was browsing through blogshops and found this this link COTTAGEHEART

But it isn't available now though, they're on hiatus. Sigh. Yet to try it. Was hoping someone to order it for me. xD HOHO.

Baby, will you order the chocolate mousse cake for me? Please?

P.S : This photo is from Cottageheart itself(:

Overdue or not?

Lazy to write captions. Oh well. No mood too.

I don't know why I let things happen.

Precisely, I seriously got no idea why am I giving myself another chance to get hurt. Maybe I'm dumb. And on impulse, I broke the necklace that was given to me on Valentine's Day. I woke up this morning, saw it and regretted it. I was half asleep and I was damn fucked up that's why I pulled it out from my neck. Stupid right? I'm like one of the dumbfucks who do things and regret. Oh well.

I hate sleeping in the living room, I hate to sleep on the same bed with my grandmother, I hate people who invades my room. I dont have privacy, I get fucking woken up at 9am on Sundays. They call me a lazy woman. They just dont fucking understand. I got no place more to sleep except the living room, they are damn fucking noisy in the morning and if I dont get enough sleep, I'd get grumpy. My brother wants to sleep in my room with mum and I fuckingly have no where else to sleep. My uncle's not moving out to my mum's place and I have to continue to endure all these fuck shits. Yes, I'm immature, I'm a fucked up kid. But hey, which seventeen year old girl sleeps in the living room, get trapped in the house, no job, no privacy. I just dont understand all these! Just because my mum is pregnant at 37, she's not in good health. It fuckingly doesnt mean that my brother can stay with mum and both of them can take over my room. Its biasness. Whenever he wants mum, he gets mum. When I was at the age younger than my brother, I dont even see my mum once a week. After that, it came to my senses that, hey, I dont need to mum/anything except for financial purposes. You give me money, I live my life. Yes, my brother is more obedient and what so ever. But I dont care! I am their kid too and what we get is different treatment. Just because he's hardworking and smarter, he deserve more love than me?! NO! Yes, I do love my brother, I'm not blaming my brother because my parents/family DID spoilt him and he became like this. They contradict themselves but saying and doing different things. WTF?!

Bottom line, give me my money and my own fucking minute space and I'd not bother you all. Thats it. I dont even feel that I'm actually a part of the family. I always felt left out and as if I'm the outsider. Its enough. I cant tolerate all these fucking things anymore. I hate life now. Dont tell me that things will get better for me. IT DOESNT! If it does I wont be like this now.

IT ONLY GETS WORSE DAY BY DAY. Because the whole hates me and loves my brother.

I HATE YOU ALL!

MAKAN ONLY!!!

I'm going out in 15min to Sakura buffet. xD Hohoho. Finally uncle ho is free/not sick to bring us to feast. Wahaha. Buffet starting at 12noon. :3 I've been starving since I woke up, SAVING SPACE FOR THE BUFFET IN MY STOMACH.

BYE! I'M GOING TO GET FAT IN ANOTHER 3 HOURS!!! xD

HI FATS/CALORIES!!!

UPDATES/

I'm back from the buffet. :/ Nothing special. Sucha disappointment. Tsktsk. Had a whole plateful of sashimi, sharksfin soup, scallops, oysters, tempura, i scream, desserts, fishes, meat, green tea. I ate alot :3 HOHOHO. Gotta be so damn fat. ))):

I'm thinking of getting a diary, a nice, adorable one. [: But the ones I saw are all so damn fucking expensive!!! Weah. It cost like $30 for a small one. I need an organiser too. HOHO. Someone buy both for me and drop in my letter box? HAHA. I wish.

Sigh, everything suck.

BYE SHIT♥

P/s : Tell me some cold jokes can? :/
P/s/s : Give me more cash?

It doesn't really matter, does it?

Everytime I want to do something for you, you give me crap. What do you want more from me? Its very saddening to have this kind of fuckshit happening every once in a while? Thanks a bunch.

I don't appreciate what happened today. But I'd definitely love what I'm getting tomorrow. SAKURA buffet. There goes my diet! xD I'm still feeling fucked up. FUCK THE WORLD FULL OF CRAPS!!!

Finally.

Yeap, bought a new charger/adapter for my lappy and it cost only $40!!! YAY ME! [: Others get it at $60 while I got it at only $40. Had a bumpy ride in the bus to SimLim Square and there was this Indian man who cried whilst talking on the phone, damn LOUDLY. ._.

Anyways, reached SimLim Square and there's alot of banglahs and china man.

Finally after so many days of sweet lovey dovey, we got fucked up by each other. [: Cool right? Ya lor. Hah. Predicted. My fault for buying the top. Weah.

Lotsa love,
Shari♥

UPDATES :

I refused to learn from my previous mistake of relying and trusting you. But today, I've finally knew how such a dumb fuck I am. Thank you so much for not picking up those thousand and million miss calls.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO DONT PICK UP THEIR DUMB FUCKING PHONE!

Grandma,Mum,Me.

[: Out in the morning till now. Geez, it is tiring. :/ Went to Owen road for breakfast and chatted with Mum's God-mum. That makes her my...God-grandmum. Hah. Woman will always be woman, born to gossip and chat for hours! haha. Ate KINDER JOY! HAH! ._. The standard of the toy dropped, tremendously! Tsktsk.

Headed down to Ikea and bought many stuffs. Gotta go there and shop again (: The kids stuff rock man! HAH! Right.

Baby, I miss you :3 Ice skating next week? Heh.

BYE!
Loves,
Shari.

Love this skinny boy(:

I finally got outta my house and met baby! (: Went to NYP to hand my declaration form which I forgotten. Headed down to AMK hub and ate at this cafe called NEBO. (:

Its quite a good one, they serve big portion of main courses. Had this Fish&Wedges meal and didnt finished it. $7 for a 2pax portion. Its student meal anyways, that explains why it is so cheap :3 They have board games there too. Definitely wants to go back there again! Perhaps, with more people. Ask baby's brother next time round. YAY FOOD!

Oops, I'm supposed to be on a diet. Aiya, WHO CARES! I'm going out with baby and I'm definitely gonna feast! (: Right baby?

And damn my laptop charger. Gotta get a new one and its forty bucks): WEAH. Mum's paying, so why not change it? (((:

THANK YOU BABY FOR THAT CUTE LIL SUNFLOWER!!!
YOU ROCK!!!
haha, baby bought sunflower to surprise me. Damn expensive lor! Rather he save the money for food :D But I still thank him very much. And I guessed that I've repaid him! (: LOVE YOU B.

Feeling love again. HOORAY. Hope school starts SOON!

BYE!!!
ily B.

Sometimes, I wish...

I wish that my mum doesn't see me like some small kid who'd get kidnap when I'm out. Or even better, trap me at home like some dumb fuck prisoner or something. For one week, I was stuck with my mum, my grandmother, my brother. No contact with friends or whatsoever.

Mum, if isolating me from the outside world is your so called Protecting me, you'd only make my more miserable and mentally ill. I'm sorry but I have to say this. The more pressurize I feel, the more I want to resent you.

Please mum, try to let me go.

Don't know what to do :/

Am seriously going to rot. I'm going to turn into a Mountain Turtle in no time ))): Sobsob. :/
My brother got a new phone again, when am I going to get mine. Tsktsk. I've told dad that I don't want the Ds anymore. If I get it, there'd confirm be a thousand and one reason for my mum to nag at me. I cant go to work, I cant get my DS, I cant go out, I cant talk on the phone, I cant change a new phone, I cant this, I cant that. The only things I can do is to Rot at home and serve my mum. That is how I'm leading my fucked up life now.

I just want things to get back to how it was. And I hope that days will pass faster so that school will start very soon. My life is so damn fucking miserable now can?

I think my family loves my brother more :/ Yes, I'm fucking jealous can? He got the brains that'd please everyone that's why everyone loves him.

I, am 17. Yet, I cant be compared with a 13yearold kid. (: Thanks ah.

No baby, having you to love me alone is not enough. Although its enough to make me happy for awhile. I need more ):

BYE SHIT LIFE!

Why must I watch that damn food variety show?

Walao. I've already been trying to resist the temptation of eating junk food for so long. But...but...but... ): I'm still craving for it leh!!! :/ Watched 美食大三通 with mummy just now and its about some ChengMai(Thailand) street food. I was practically drooling can? >.< There's so many things I want to eat now.

-糯米肠
-酥炸蘑菇
-烧烤炸鸡扒

And many fucking more la!!!

BYE!

WANNA KNOW WHAT I DO EVERYDAY?!

I...

- Wake up at 10-11am
- Wash up
- Skip breakfast
- Watch a random movie from
- Eat lunch ( if I'm hungry )
- Read comic/another movie
- Msn/lie around
- Daydream
- Watch another movie/drama/whatever
- 太鼓 in Psp
- Skip dinner ( if I'm not hungry )
- Msn
- Movie/Drama/Tv/Comic
- hypnotize myself that I'm NOT a boring person&
he really loves me.
- Crap with mummy
- Plug in earphones
- Sleep

This is how INTERESTING my life is(:

BYE SHIT!
♥

P/S : I'm thinking whether to learn Spanish or japanese.

*Funshion is a software where I download all the movies(: Its cheena. Geez.

CIAO!
SAYONARA!

I want a chopstick+Spoon set too!!! Hopefully I can get something nicer (((: I always wanted a set by myself. I'm missing korean food again!!! Wtf, I cant enough of it.

Anyone want ta pow for me? [:

♥

P/s : I've lost love.

I didn't know that you were also capable of making people feel guilty.

Why must you fuck everything up?

If you are not going to cherish what you have, please don't make everyone suffer. Its a habit, a habit to lie, to cheat and to break promises. Perhaps, its me that don't deserve all this, if that's the case then, my bad. Apparently, you chose something else rather than me. Your explanations are all excuses to me now. No matter how much effort I put in this relationship, everything is still gonna be the same I guess. What a joke to give myself or you a second chance. Now I've realised how fucking dumb I am.

Thanks. I'd never ever fall for the same fucking lie again.

Blogger got fucked up

._. Blogger got fucked up! Bahhh. I finally finished doing my enrollment stuff and am officially a NYP student. Just as long as the bills are paid, you're recognised as their student (:

我只是希望有人能把我当宝贝一样的疼爱。

Just trying to test me huh? Congratulations, you've got the answer you want? So that's what I get from putting in extra effort and sacrificing my sleep just to have more time with you. Thank you. Today's event let me understand how I should not be this dumb next time. Thank you so much.